Beach balls make everything better.

Like, say, when you’re at a concert and the lead singer announces, “Here’s a cut off our new album.”

Or during a long valedictorian speech.

Or on the day after Tax Day.

Allow us to explain…

Presenting Bella Beach Club, a new oceanfront playpen dedicated to island-style bocce, island-style cocktails and island-style R&R, now soft-open.

What you’re looking at is basically an all-day beach retreat ripped from the pages of a St. Martin playbook. Which means you’re coming here to do nothing. In a swimsuit. For as long as you damn well please. And yes, there’ll be a canvased terrace, a house DJ and a bunch ofwhite wicker daybeds to assist in your nothing.

So it’s Saturday. The sun is lolling overhead. You’re spreading out on a daybed and ordering a Bella Sunrise(tequila, pineapple, Moët, ginger flower) and some South African lobster tail from a sarong-skirted waitress (boy, do we know you well). When suddenly, you get the urge to play a sport that requires very little movement.

The ridiculous answer: mixed doubles doggy-paddling in the surf. The logical answer: bocce. They’ve got a court set up right on the shore and (we assume) a highly competitive/flawlessly bronzed Icelandic flip-flop model who’s waiting to take on all challengers.

Warning: Icelandic flip-flop model may look like an Italian grandfather.

Bella Beach Club
in the Trump International Beach Resort
18001 Collins Ave
Sunny Isles Beach, FL 33160
official website